Breathing seminar. What’s next?

I was sitting in a little cafe the other day and noticed a poster advertising a “Breathing Seminar”. Don’t get me wrong, seminars are excellent marketing tactics for people and companies that need to educate before a sale can be made. They are also great for establishing yourself as an expert in your field. But I’m not sure I really need to take a seminar to learn how to breathe.

You see, I’ve been doing a lot of breathing over the last two and a half decades. I started pretty early – a few seconds after emerging into the world. And I’ve kept on practicing ever since with a few exceptions lasting a few moments when I was underwater or right before crashing my race car.

In fact, as I get older, I think I’m breathing even more – I notice it when I run up stairs or right after I’ve been tipping my chair and almost lose it. (Sorry mom.)

But that flyer got me thinking. Maybe I should do some of my own seminars on similar subjects. I think people would pay to attend a seminar on scratching or combing. Maybe we could sit for a couple hours and I could teach the art of standing to those who might be seated. Or perhaps we could spend an afternoon together while I teach you how to simply exist. Of course, we would have to do a section on breathing and probably other autonomic functions (I’d hate to have even one person overlook the importance of their heart beating) but I think some people might find it valuable.

Especially those who may not be breathing.

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