Don’t be a Saleshole. The Five Attributes of Poor Salesmanship.

The last few weeks I have been subjected to a lot of bad salesmanship. It got me thinking. Surely people don’t mean to be rude, pushy or full of proverbial bovine excrement. But somehow, they still excel at being a total saleshole. So, in the interest of enlightenment and relieving my frustration, I share my top five saleshole attributes.

1. If you never take no for an answer and instead resort to stalking prospects with repeated calls, unannounced visits, hanging out at the bar next to the prospect’s office, lurking around his yard at night – you might be a Saleshole.

2. If you simply make things up instead of admitting you are not omnipotent while telling the prospect how you are going to change their life if they just buy your crap from you because it is 37% more accurate and has more excellent excellence than any of your competitors – you might be a saleshole.

3. If you get yourself in a snit because the prospect didn’t receive the email quote you sent, twice, and instead of following up (because email isn’t 100% reliable) you blame the prospect and start acting like it’s the biggest annoyance EVER simply to help the customer buy your product – you might be a saleshole.

4. If you resort to taking the wife aside and begging for the sale while the husband is talking to your partner (this has happened to me) saying things like “I really need this sale….” and “I’m this close to losing my job and I have kids to feed” you (and your partner) are salesholes.

5. If you change the appointment time five minutes before the agreed upon time because a bigger prospect decided to change her appointment at the last minute and instead of calling your prospect, you shoot him a quick email, which he doesn’t get because he’s driving to your office (after he scheduled around the meeting you so desperately stalked him about) and this is the third time in a row you’ve done this – you are definitely a saleshole.

Why would a marketing guy care about selling? I’ll let you ponder that one on your own. In the meantime, if you identify with any of the above attributes, please don’t call me. If you are offended by the word “saleshole” then I suggest you shut down your browser immediately and pick up the latest issue of Better Housekeeping. I heard they have a lovely article on making beautiful planters from old Pringles cans.

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